"And something happens to me, there's some kind of wonderful" ~ The Drifters
We had a good weekend together. One that made me want to step back and press pause. To view it all from afar because sometimes that's the best view. The big picture, right? It's too easy to get bogged down in the details. In the day to day. But then you are able to be in the moment and enjoy it and realize just how fleeting it all is.
Q has come so far over the last few months. He's not only losing the baby chub but some of the toddler antics along with it. And while that's a little sad because my baby is growing up, it's mostly a relief. I've gotta be honest--he hasn't been the easiest little guy to parent. Those who know him (and me) well can attest. He's "spirited" and "active" and "stubborn" and "aggressive". He's also curious and fun-loving and affectionate and hilarious. Plus his language abilities have grown tremendously after over a year of speech therapy. I get giddy when I hear him say something as simple as "I have an idea!" Because it took a while to get there. And he's been working so hard. His growing confidence with language has aided in his ability to better regulate his impulses. So yeah, there's more to it than needing speech support.
During our last parent-teacher conference, Q's preschool teachers suggested that he be evaluated by the school district for special education services. Not the easiest thing to hear as a parent. But very much needed. We really needed to hear it. Because I had suspicions and T wasn't on the same page. When his teachers very cautiously suggested this, we knew they were right. They just needed to push us in the right direction. And so began the journey of advocating for Q to get him assessed. After about a month of preparing and back and forths, we've gotten all the paperwork in and the dates are set for his evaluation and school observation.
I'm looking forward to learning more about my son. I want him to get all the help he needs so he can feel he's at the same level as his friends. So he can talk and play in all the ways he wants. So he can satisfy his curiosities about the world and just get it. Really soak it in. And be ready for kindergarten.
"What'd you say, Mommy?"
"I said I'm proud of the way you played with ZoZo today. You were really nice with her. You're a good big brother."
"I did a good job? I was nice."
"Yes, you should be proud of yourself."
My heart feels like it's alternately being squeezed and expanding. Like I couldn't love him any more than I do, but then I do and it's like, whoa. How is it even possible? He's mine and he's far from perfect, but he's absolutely amazing.
P.S. Q had to go to the dentist 3 times in the past 2 weeks. He had a slowly dying grey tooth from when he was newly walking and banged it on the edge of the bathtub. Three years later there's an abscess above that tooth. The biggest abscess the dentist had ever seen in her career (and she wasn't all that young). So there was draining. And then more draining. And then the eventual removal. Bye-bye, baby tooth. Hello to a very apropos mischievous grin!