Friday, July 06, 2012

Up, Down, All Around Madness

"Upside down, boy, you turn me inside out and round and round"~ Diana Ross

Hello! Yes, I'm still alive. Just barely. It's been almost a month since I've posted and I realize that's kind of ridiculous. Mostly it's ridiculous for me to expect anyone to read this barely breathing blog. But here we are. Or I am. Anyway.

I've tried to post recently. I wanted to write about the month I took-- or planned to take-- off from sugar. But let's just make it a very short story -- I failed after a couple of weeks. I've wanted to write about the ups and downs of Q and Z over the last few weeks. The challenges and joys. The tears, the fears, the hopes, the mania. But I've been so exhausted-- mostly it's mental and emotional exhaustion. And finding the energy to write outside of work has been daunting. But I miss it. 

So I will try to write a general recap of the last month. The highs and lows.


- I took Q to his first movie in a theater to see Brave with his Poppa. It was awesome to experience it through his eyes. We got popcorn and M&M's, which I think were more exciting to him than the movie itself. And after the preview and the animated short (which I preferred to Brave), he only lasted about 20 minutes in and fell into a deep sleep that we had to wake him from to leave. Still, it was great. 

 - Z is on the move! Over the last week I've watched her go from frustrated attempts at crawling forward only to end up in reverse to full-on crawling across the room. She's not moving too quickly yet, which I'm trying to cherish, but it is all kinds of adorable. Q barely crawled and it wasn't until he was 13 months, so this feels very novel. 

- I'm in the process of transitioning from a contractor position to a full time hire with promotion, which is great but also a bit stressful. Still, I'm looking forward to some of the perks that full time employment affords!

- Q is making incredible progress with his speech. His sentences have grown more complex and his pronoun usage has become more accurate than not. I'm impressed on a daily basis lately by his growth. Speech therapy is pricey but so worth it.

Joy ride

- Q has regressed some as far as aggression toward his sister and other kids. He's had a hard time at summer school. I'd like to write more in depth about this because it really deserves its own post, but I realize that he needs some extra love and attention right now. Which is tough when I'm working so much, which leads me to . . .

- Working mom guilt. Sucks mightily. I miss my little loves and I feel like I'm missing out. And maybe they're suffering for it? I don't know.

- T and I desperately need a date night. Can someone plan a date for us and arrange for sitters? Yes, we need more than one sitter. Unless it's our nanny. She's amazing. But I hate to ask her to be here more than she already is. 

They both had ear infections here, but they were lil troopers.
More than anything, I'm looking forward to our little getaway in a couple of weeks. I don't know that I've ever needed a change of scenery and some relaxation more. I'm hoping it will also refresh my brain. Going to the mountains, breathing in the clean air, going offline completely. Even though it's never easy vacationing with the littles, I've promised myself that I will not stress. I will find a way to truly take it easy and let things roll off my back. Counting down . . .