I fancy myself an adaptable person. Someone who can float along with the current. I'm a fish, but I try not to be very salmon-y -- no fighting the flow over here. But while I am one to float on float on, I also find comfort in staticity. Or stability. Over the last three years, I have gotten quite comfy with my flexible work schedule, with co-workers who feel like family and who allowed me to spend precious time with Q and Z. I worked from home twice a week and went into the office on the other days, with plenty of help from family and an awesome part-time nanny.
But next week everything changes. Well, not everything exactly. Just my life. That's all. I start a new job working full time in SF. I'm beyond excited for the chance to further my copywriting career. It's an amazing opportunity. Plus, I get to work with a manager who was a great mentor to me in a previous job. And it's just excellent timing in the job-sphere of my life.
Then there's the mom-sphere of my life. You know, taking care of my family. Only the most important part of my world. That's where I'm losing sleep. Figuring out the ideal childcare for both Q and Z while wondering how even more change will affect Q and choking up at the thought of missing many of Z's firsts and hoping that she doesn't get more attached to the nanny than me and on and on. Then the pervasive mom guilt creeps into my stomach and radiates toward every appendage until I'm quaking with anxiety.
Oh yes. Change is fun. I'm being sarcastic and I'm being truthful. Because while all of this is challenging, I'm up for it. Everything is seemingly falling into place already. It feels destined somehow. While in an ideal world, I'd only work part time until both kids were in school, this opportunity has drifted into my life right now. And I need to go with it. I'm planning to kill it on my first day. That's my goal every day thereafter. Just attack the workday and float into the night and the weekends.
Because like the wise Dre Dog once said, I'm a Pisces, but I'd rather be a killer whale.