Thursday, August 04, 2011

Panic! It's Manic Mercury in Retrograde!

"You must be my lucky star 'cause you shine on me wherever you are" ~ Madonna

I should have known. In the past, I would have known. When a friend on Facebook posted that Mercury was in retrograde, it all made since. What does this mean? Why does it matter? Well, if you take any stock in the sway of the stars and planets, then it's a period when all communication goes haywire. In other words, I now know the real reason why I lost my iPhone for the first time in the 2 and half years since I've had it. The planet Mercury came down and snatched it out of my swollen, pregnant fingers and placed it in my co-worker's office long enough for me to panic and imagine some identity thief with all of my information. Some miscreant tapping his fingers together and whispering "excellent."


 When Q fell down and cried later that evening, I couldn't help but break down, too. But this time it wasn't because I was feeling Q's pain -- it was because I missed my phone desperately. After going about 36 hours without my phone, I realized it was probably a good break for me. A time to reflect on how dependent I've become on my phone and how ridiculous that is. And a time to get one of those phone tracking apps for the next Mercury in retrograde! Yes, it's sad that losing my iPhone felt like losing one of my children. But back to my original point, Mercury in retrograde! It's a crazy phase (lasting until the 26th this go around) that allows you to blame any communication mishaps on the alignment of the planets, and in this age of super-communication, a whole heck of a lot can go wrong. I'll be shocked if this post actually publishes.

Back in the day, I used to be into all of this zodiac stuff. I would have been the one to notify my friends about Mercury, and they would humor me and groan about all that could go wrong. But with growing older and mama-hood came some more practical theories on which to base my life. Like I'm tired and super pregnant right now, so it makes sense that I would misplace something. But what's the fun in that? You can only blame it on the brain for so long. From now on (or for the rest of this pregnancy at least), I'm looking to the heavens for (mis)guidance.

Some tips on how to behave while Mercury goes all Charlie Sheen up in here:

1) Take more time to think before you "speak." Double check every text message you send, every email, every Facebook post, every Tweet. This would be the time that you accidentally send your mother in law that sexy note intended for your partner.

2) Save and re-save and backup. Even the most stalwart computers have been known to completely fail around this time.

3) Feeling burned out on social networking, blogging, etc.? Now would be a great time to take a little vacation from the online world.

4) Expect some delays. If you're not late, someone else will be. Which leads up nicely to . . .

5) Go with the flow. But don't go too far! Those expert astrologists out there (who are these people anyway?) say that it's a bad time to make commitments or travel plans. So, if at all possible, pretend you have no real responsibilities to be anywhere. And when your boss gets mad at you for not showing up to that work conference, you know who to blame. (No, not me. Mercury!)

It will all be over in a few weeks. Just like my pregnancy. Yikes.


  1. Ha! I love this post! "Manic Mercury in Retrograde"- I've honestly never heard of that so thanks for enlightening me. I now have something else to blame for my behavior as of late.

  2. Um, I'm so on board with this post! Mercury in retrograde gets me every freakin' time. I don't know if it's because my sign is ruled by Mercury, or if because I'm aware of it I notice things going awry (like when you and a friend having been talking about how much you love Mini Coopers, and suddenly they're everywhere!)

    Beyond modes of technical communication, I usually notice a breakdown in verbal communication as well. This is when you and your partner can have an argument about something and walk away with completely different understandings of what just transpired. Or when you and your partner discuss something, and two days later the EXACT same scenario comes up and you feel like you're taking crazy pills 'cuz you JUST talked about that very thing (which your partner apparently has no memory of). (OK, maybe that's just relationships in general....) ;)

    Anyway, thanks for the heads up, Meesh! I've had to unplug and reboot my entire Internet set-up twice this week already...I guess that explains it! ;)