Thursday, November 04, 2010

D to the I to the SCIPLINE

"Don't need a man that'll treat you funny, you need a man with sensitivity" ~ Ralph Tresvant

So, I'm thinking I need to hit the books again. A little brushing up on this child-rearing stuff, if you will. I had two to three baby books on my nightstand at a time in Q's early months. So many questions, so many books. Crusty eyes? Let me look that up. And now for a little cross-referencing. Ah, yes, it seems to be normal. Those books were my saviors. I'm not the type of mom who feels comfortable calling the pediatrician for every little concern. I don't want to be that parent. Perhaps it's to my detriment at times. But so far so good. (Great. I'm so jinxing myself and my child.)

At this juncture in Q's life, I'm less concerned with a little rash here or a bump there. It's more in the vein of "am I completely ruining any chance at my son being a well-adjusted kid?" I don't know if Q's pediatrician can really answer that question. And for some reason, I've taken a break from relying on books. Of course his health is my first priority, but I've realized that he's a pretty tough guy. So tough, in fact, that he hurts me on a daily basis. What? I've never mentioned that before? And amazingly, despite how much I complain, I can live with scratched up arms and bitten thighs. But he needs to learn that this is not acceptable behavior when interacting with others. We're trying to be consistent with explaining that it's not okay to hit/scratch/bite/pinch, to be gentle, to high five and hug instead. To be a little more Ralph and a little less Bart. We've tried timeouts, which last a whopping 30 seconds and which seem to make no impression on him as he claws his way out of the corner. This has been going on for a couple of months now. I don't know if I'm just being impatient with his ability to process all of this "discipline," but I need to rally the troops. I need my trusty nightstand companions again.

A couple of books have been recommended to me recently. One is the series by Louise Bates Ames with a book specific to every age (such as Your Two-Year-Old: Terrible or Tender). My only concern with that series is it seems pretty dated as it was written in 1980, but a friend said wonderful things about it. Another  book is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. They are sitting in my Amazon shopping cart as we speak. But I figured I might as well survey any of you lovely readers who may have come across a stellar book. A book that will turn me into a parent who can turn my child into a sensitive, empathetic creature. Are any of you familiar with the aforementioned books? Or do you recommend others? I will build a library of these books if need be. A tower next to my bed. Books make me feel more capable. And it's all about confidence in your own abilities in the end, isn't it?

1 comment:

  1. I really responded to Dr. Donson's "The Strong Willed Child". It helped me a lot with Boy Wonder in the toddler years. He was a spirited child who needed a little reigning in. I have to say though, he's grown to be completely human and wonderful boy and if you would have asked me if that was possible between the ages of 2-4 I would have told you no way. Best of luck, let us know if you find any good reads, I love me some child development books.