As all parents are well aware, your day-to-day life requires a major overhaul once you have a little imp tearing up your world. Your offspring has replaced the alarm clock, but this one doesn't have a snooze button. Not hungry this morning so you think you'll skip breakfast? Nobody cares what you want, especially not that hungry tyke. Co-workers invited you to a spontaneous happy hour? How lovely for them! You have a bottomless pit waiting for dinner at home. Oh, but that's not at all. Your vacations will never look the same again either.
Let's do a little compare and contrast, shall we?
Ye olde vacations:
- Get to your vacation destination in record time because you can wait to eat, piss, stretch your legs, etc.
- Naptime in the sun
- Have a leisurely late dinner because all of those libations are keeping you going anyway
- Loud music, dancing, bedtime shmedtime
- SLEEP IN
Brand spankin' new vacations:
- Road trip takes on a whole new meaning because most of your first vacation day will truly be spent on the road, getting pissed and pooped on, scrambling for snacks to feed the bottomless pit, praying that he naps so you can get a few minutes of shuteye, etc.
- Setting up camp is constantly interrupted by chasing the torrential toddler as he scurries away from you down a rocky hill
- Feed toddler
- Coat toddler in sunblock and consider gluing his hat to his head
- Plead with toddler to take a nap for longer than 45 minutes so you can find a moment of relaxation
- Dinner by 6pm
- Bedtime met with screaming and flailing
- Repeatedly telling others to turn the music down (yes, you're that guy now)
- Wake up call at 4:40am because toddler is cold and wants a "bah ... bahhh!"
What happened to my rejuvenating, indulgent vacation? I used to wish I had an extra day to recover from vacation, but that was typically because I
|*Photo by Paloma Sales*|
But if you can roll with the toddler headbutts, you'll still find a way to enjoy a change of scenery. Look at that gushing stream, the tall, green trees for miles, the enormous mountains through his eyes. Watch him frolic and squeal in fits of glee to be out in all of that open space. Admire how he has bonded with all of your vacation companions and made new little friends. The world is truly his playground. And it's beautiful to see. (Photos of Q's 1st camping trip as a toddler coming soon!)