Monday, August 16, 2010

Monthly Madness

"... when I'm angry inside, don't wanna take it out on you" ~ Monica

TMI alert: Do not proceed if you can't handle reading about other people's bodily fluids and monthly bloatfests.

When I found out I was pregnant, one of the first things I wanted to do was buy a bunch of books to educate myself on this growing bundle of love inside of me and all the ways my body would change during and after pregnancy. And read I did! In true researcher fashion, I really geeked out and gathered a variety of sources to cross-reference. I devoured pregnancy books, baby preparation books, parenting books, nursing books,, mom blogs, and on and on. One aspect of postpartum life that all of the aforementioned failed to address was how altered my PMS and "monthly friend" would be. Who the hell came up with "monthly friend" anyway? It's like calling a pap smear your "annual booty call." Neither are welcome visitors at my home down south. It's more like when an in-law unexpected guest pop tarts at my front door and I'm all, "Sure, come in," through gritted teeth.

*Photo via*
So, when my "." returned at about 8 months postpartum, I was prepared for it to be a little different because the books did mention there could be some change as far as becoming heavier or lighter or irregular. But what really took me by surprise were the days leading up to the return of the body snatchers. It was as if I was being fed an IV drip of MSG, I was so bloated and uncomfortable. Plus, breakouts that left scars. Cute! Then someone turned the volume up to 10+ on my emotional dial. The self-doubt came raining down on my head because I obviously was the worst mother in the world for not teaching my baby to sign. How I sucked at parenting, at work, at home, at life! I took JT's advice and cried me a river. It was like I was being given a taste of postpartum depression for a couple of days every month. And if Q happened to bonk his head or take a spill on those days? Oh lord. Poor Q, but poor, poor T. He basically became the single sane parent. I had to hide in my bed so as not to further traumatize my child.

Am I alone here? Have other mothers out there experienced the wrath of postpartum PMS? (I can't even imagine women who have postpartum depression and then get postpartum PMS on top of it.) Will this ever go away? Can somebody bring me some chocolate?


  1. Jeez, Meesh - way to scare the crap out of me! ;) PMS is already a "strap on your seatbelt, you're going for a ride" emotional/physical experience for me. It actually gets worse!? Oh crikey! Presently re-thinking children . . . (kidding)! :) Hope you feel better!

  2. I'm with you. I thought I was coming down with some horrible illness when my "friend" came postpartum :p who knew it could get worse? I thought after labor and birth a period would be no big thang!

  3. ohmygosh, that sounds awful! you have me terrified. i'm still in the clear (and pretty happy about it), but thanks for the heads up. maybe i'll just try to get pregnant again and bypass it all. or not. wow, the options...

  4. Wow I'm not excited about things starting back up for me! I'm 7 1/2 months out & still breastfeeding, so I haven't started yet. Not sure when I will. I'm not feeling any PMS or anything, so I'm hoping not soon. I have heard from people about their periods being really different after having a child. I always had really painful, heavy periods, so I'd love it if things got a little more manageable now!! But I'm preparing for them to be even worse & that's going to SUCK.

    Sorry things are rough with your newly returned period! Hopefully they'll even back out a little??

  5. Didn't mean to frighten you ladies! I may have exaggerated slightly for humor's sake, but it's still very much a suckfest. I completely weaned Q from breastfeeding a couple of months ago, so my hormones are probably still adjusting which should mean an eventual evening out. I hope.