Thursday, August 26, 2010

Moms for Mediocrity!

"Oh baby, can't we give it one more try?" ~ Timmy T

Pretty much as soon as Q's sizable head popped out, I was faced with one unfortunate reality of motherhood. No, not the burning sensation of delivery (like how I played that one down?). The other burning sensation. The one in your brain. That's right. Self-doubt. There I was in awe of this little creature in my arms who was the perfect blend of T and me, who had known immediately to latch on and nurse. But of course, I was also thinking, am I holding him right? Is he comfortable? My doula is watching me. My mom and dad are watching me. They know what nursing is supposed to look like. And so it began.

But the harder realization came when I started reading the community discussions and more and more mom blogs. It seemed like so many moms had chosen the right direction for their families. They knew what kind of moms they wanted to be. I, on the other hand, vacillated between attachment-style parenting and wanting Q to be on a schedule. I once had some grand plans for being a superstar mom, but I started feeling more like a mediocre mom.

But as I watch Q grow and I grow each day in this crazy world called mama-hood, I'm starting to embrace my mediocrity. I'm finding what makes sense for our family. I may have felt a twinge of guilt here and there about these things, but now, it's like, whatever works, mama!

Evidence of my mom mediocrity:

- I don't use cloth diapers on Q, even though I fully believe that it would be the best thing for the environment and possibly for Q's booty. All it took was one horror story from my mom about cloth diapers and I was off of that boat. Thanks for twisting my arm, Mom.

- I wanted to make all of Q's baby food myself. But then T's mom started buying us all of this nice organic baby food, and that was SO convenient. I probably made about 40% of his baby food instead. Now I cook 90% of his meals, but I'm not ashamed to admit I'm a mediocre cook at best.

- I gave up on signing with Q after the first month of trying.

- I totally dropped the ball on Q's baby book and I don't scrapbook or do anything crafty.

- We saved a clipping from his first haircut and I look it and wonder, what's the point? What am I going to do with it anyway?

- I never sent a birth announcement. Mediocre sounds like a compliment right about now. 

- I insist that Q call me Flyrish.

Okay, that last one is a lie. But the rest I own. Sometimes, as moms, we need to cut ourselves some slack. We need to stop focusing so much on what we're not doing and look at what we're proud of, our little accomplishments as mothers. So, um, yeah, I'll have to get back to you all on that . . .

This post has been entered in this week's Word Up, Yo! meme. Check it.
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  1. I was like supermom with my first and I was so anal-retentive I drove myself into Mommy Dearest territory. With #2, I became "mediocre" and I am a much happier and better mother for it. The love is all the matters, the love is what they remember. Don't feel guilty for focusing your time and attention on the things that matter most! I wish I learned that lesson earlier on, you sound like an awesome mom to me!

  2. Thank you, Lori! I battle with feeling half-assed on some days and okay with it on others. Ha. All I know is Q is a super happy kid with lots of love all around him.

  3. OMG I am having a hard time getting on board with the signing & since starting back to student teaching, I've started doing organic pre-made babyfood from Target! I love the Ella's Organics brand. Isis is OBSESSED with it, which kinda made me much less excited about what I'd been making because she was not nearly as excited about that.

    I also am not crafty & I didn't do a birth announcement.

    Somehow I think this will all be okay. LOL Happy to know I'm not alone!

  4. Firstly, I think you're a rad momma. Secondly, apparently mediocrity is where it's at these days: