"She works hard for the money, so hard for it, honey." ~ Donna Summer
Guilt. For anyone who was raised Catholic, they are very familiar with this feeling. But instead of Catholic guilt, I'm experiencing blogger guilt. And this is my confession. I told myself I would start posting three times a week and it's been almost a week since my last post. I know-- a mortal sin in the blogging world. I've thought a lot about potential blog posts. I've thought about participating in one of those memes. But I just can't seem to find the time to write them. I admit it-- I watched Bethenny Getting Married? instead of blogging. Give me my penance already.
Here comes the justification. I'm a working mom. I don't read a lot of blogs about moms who also have a career outside of mothering. Those moms who actually earn money from their blogs don't count (mainly because I'm jealous). Like most people in the working world, I sit in front of a computer all day. Spending more hours in front of the computer during my limited free time isn't always appealing. Sometimes I'd rather listen to music with my husband or talk on the phone with my sister or sprawl on the couch and watch reality TV or cook something yummy or clean the bathroom. Ok, that last one was a lie. I pretty much avoid cleaning the bathroom until Q starts crying because the bathtub hurts his bottom from the grainy filth. Not really, but close.
I'm digressing, so back to work. I'm a research associate for a non-profit sociological institute where I get to write for a living. I've been doing this on and off for the last 10 years or so. I also work as a freelance copywriter and used to be the Senior Copywriter for an online boutique a couple of years ago. I was laid off while on maternity leave, and don't even get me started on that fiasco. We'll save that for another time when I'm feeling appropriately spiteful. In any case, I love being a working mom. I cherish the balance this choice to work outside of the home (and sometimes inside of the home while Q is at the park) has given me. I remember finally feeling like a true adult woman (all growns up!) when I went back to work and had my baby to come home to. I also love getting ready for work, putting on shoes that would be totally impractical when hanging with Q, and being around all of the other hustling bustling city folk. It's a time when I get to be multifaceted me, not just mama me.
At the same time I envy the stay-at-home mom. Time to dream up more fun activities for Q. Time to really work on the sippy cup push. Time to take him to the park. Time to better plan and prepare meals. Time to better document his toddlerhood. Time to stay on top of house chores. More time to be involved in the blogging community. Less blogger guilt.
If you're a full-time working outside of the home mom and still manage to find time to blog every day, then ...
I kind of hate you. Do you sleep? Your energy is unfathomable and you deserve some sort of award. I also want to be you (unless you don't sleep because I want to marry sleep). Because writing like this, expressing my personal views and relating to others who might understand even a little bit, feels incredible. It's a form of therapy that truly helps me. I think the guilt comes from knowing that blogging more regularly would only improve my writing-- and my sanity! That's why I'm spending my lunch break on the computer.