Thursday, February 25, 2010

Spin My Head Wrong Round

Oh, Vertigo. You once were just an eerie, classic Hitchcock film. A lame U2 album even. How I wish I never knew you any better. You left me so dizzy that I don't know which way is up anymore.

About a week ago I started feeling dizzy. And I don't mean a little lightheaded, like when you stand up too quickly from lying down. No, this was more like, "Why is the room rocking from side to side? It's 6pm and I haven't had a single thing to drink." It was frightening, especially because I was home alone with Q when it first hit me. But when I laid down, I felt a bit better and was able to manage it.

Cut to Saturday morning. I had felt fine for most of Friday and even went to work, so even though I felt some dizziness on Friday evening I figured it was leaving my system. Oh no. I was woefully wrong. I woke up to the room going wonky as if I was in some Mad Hatter nightmare. I could only lay on my right side or I just knew I would see the previous night's pizza coming back up. At one point I had to turn over to feed Q and, much to his dismay, I had to hightail it like a drunken sailor to the bathroom. This feeling lasted for most of the day, so I just laid in bed with my eyes closed, willing the room to go still each time I tried to open my eyes again. Get me off of this damned ship! I wanted to scream. I swear I've never done heroin in my life, so why does it feel like I'm going through a freakin' withdrawal! Melodramatic, you say? Just wait until you meet Vertigo face to face. I truly hope you never do, though.

After some cajoling from my husband, I ended up in the ER on Saturday night, with Q safely at home under Grandma's care. What a way to spend a date night. Fortunately at that point I was feeling well enough to not want to puke all over my companions in the waiting room. Three fun-filled hours later I was told I had benign positional vertigo, which was "nothing to be concerned about and fairly common." After something about loose particles and little hairs in the inner ear getting bent, I was given some meds (thank you, goddess of pharmaceuticals), told not to drive for a week after my last episode (about 9 times from both the doctor and the nurse), and sent on my much less clumsy way.

So, if anyone does hook up with Vertigo any time soon, I can probably help you out. (Or if you're feeling anxious, but we'll save that bit for another time.) As for me, I'm trying to give Vertigo up for Lent and longer. Stop calling me, stop texting me, stop emailing me, stop leaving me Facebook posts, and stop trying to keep me in bed all day. I'm done. (Please let me be done.)


  1. oh man! Not good not good! I hope you are feeling better now. I love the vertigo poster and great post.

  2. Ugh! Sounds awful girl! I'm so sorry but glad to hear it is not something more serious (Ha! I'm sure it feels pretty damn serious to you!). Kick that bitch ass Vertigo to the curb!!! The post was awesome, by the way.